Pastor's Weekly Musing

January 15, 2026

"Every Change of Mind is, First of All, A Change of Heart"

At a meeting somewhere a few years ago, I saw this sentence spoken by, “the 14th Dalai Lama.” A sage in any spiritual tradition could have spoken this sentence. But that beautiful man is the one to whom I attribute it. It is distilled wisdom. Here it is. “Every change of mind is, first of all, a change of heart!”

Changing my mind requires changing my heart. Usually, if you are at all like me, you keep your heart well defended. I know in my case, I put up walls four feet thick on all sides and do what I can to stay in a zone of safety. A friend of mine pointed this out thirty-eight years ago and said, “nothing new can come into your sphere of influence Jack, because you think you have and know the truth.” She said stingingly, “you are closed to change.”

Hearing those words, spoken not to condemn me, confronted my barriers and personal resistance to anything new. I felt shattered and reeling. What did she mean? My defenses quickly recovered. I thought, my path and way were solid. I functioned in a reasonably conservative vacuum of friends who thought like I did.

However, doubt was at the edge of my consciousness. It was during that period of time that I stopped and realized the world was changing and I needed to look at it. Ronald Reagan was president, and things were happening in Central America. Friends of mine were trying to protect El Salvadorians who our government claimed were our enemies. My friends were protecting illegal immigrants.

About that time, Babette’s Feast came out in the theater. It was an illuminating film about grace and transformation. The “Last Temptation of Christ” came out and I went to see it too, crossing picket lines to enter the theater. I was deeply moved seeing that film many claimed was sacrilegious.

I knew at that time; how difficult it was for me to hear other voices and visualize the realities of others. Basically, from that time to this present moment, I have become open to change. I see change and attempt to embrace it. Today, I like to think, I walk through life with open hands, welcoming whatever comes my way. My heart has changed. So has my mind.

Isn’t that the challenge of living? If you are like me, I believe your heart can be moved, shaken, changed and transformed! It is not easy, but it is possible. I look forward to playing with you this coming Sunday. If you need to change something in your life, Sunday morning could be what you need. Just saying! As always, it will be nothing without you. ~Jack

January 8, 2026

"Church Signs"

About seven years ago, my wife Sarah returned from a trip to Florida where she presented a paper at a national art conference. She had been in Sarasota with its white sand beaches. It is true, I experienced a moment or two of envy. I am over it. One morning at breakfast Sarah said, “I saw a signboard outside a Lutheran church in downtown Sarasota.” She thought it was honest and forthright. It said, “Come As You Are, Leave Different!”

She does not generally like church signs because they are often cutesy, shallow, self-serving and oft times trying to compete with a neighboring congregation, especially in the south. She felt that this sign was better than most and chose to remark about its content.

I like the message the sign presented. After all, I believe that people can and do come to church as they are. Jesus never wore a suit and tie to synagogue. I think he showed up in in a robe and open-toed sandals. You and I attend in whatever dress we deem appropriate. During the summer months, I chose to attend church in an array of Hawaiian shirts, some more colorful than others. I would like to think Jesus might too, if he was attending. Although Hawaiian shirts were probably not invented during his lifetime.

I believe the essence of the church, at its very best, is for people who walk through the doors with one frame of reference, then to walk out through those same doors considering how their frame of reference changed. Maybe it is a bit like AA. We walk in one way, acknowledge who we are and over the course of time find ourselves coming to awareness that we are more than our addictions with the help of our higher power. We come to find that we are human beings with capacities to do and be more than we had ever imagined.

I love the church with all its varied flaws, fragmentations, weaknesses, doubtful future, and incongruities. I love it because in the church, there exists a possibility to be true and real if you or I risk opening ourselves to a way of being that hitherto fore we had not considered.

I love the church because at its very best, you and I can become more whole and get beyond some of our needs and wants. I love it because I am called away from my self-centered way of being to the consideration of being something else, something more. And the choice is yours and mine. I can choose not to let it change me. I can choose to ignore its constant refrain of, doing justice, loving-kindness and walking in humility with God and my fellow sisters and brothers. Or I can acknowledge my need to do what at my best the sacred texts call me to do. At its best the church is the place where you and I can experience Grace. Grace is the undeserved favor of being held in love and mercy. At church we can see, and experience grace happens both to and for others and ourselves. We even get to sing about it.

As we turn the page on the season in a few weeks, moving from winter to full blown spring, I am inviting you to come to church as you are, and expect to leave different than when you entered. I look forward to seeing and being with you for the rest of winter and soon after on a mild spring Sunday morning. Maybe someone will put up a similar sign on the side of the church like Sarah saw in Sarasota that says something like, “Come As You Are, Leave Different.” ~Jack

December 31, 2025

"Adults on Board”

It was 5:15 in the morning. I wish it had been 6:30. My unconscious mind awakened me thinking about a trip to Italy ten years ago. Part of the reason I woke up was because I was writing this musing and didn’t know quite how to construct it, I wanted it to be fit to share with you.

So, here’s a bit of background. I hosted an intrepid group of travelers on a visit to Italy in 2015 and was remembering that in less than two weeks we experienced several cultures, all in that country. Italy is made up of regions and has only been a unified country for a hundred and sixty some years.

But I was not thinking about Italy as much as the diverse group of people traveling with me. I don’t know about you, but in my experience, whenever you have a group of people traveling together you expect there will be some friction. It is the same with all folks living in proximity to one another. There is often something that happens or creates anxiety. That is certainly the case in every congregation I’ve served. On that trip though, the last evening, I told the group that I was impressed that on the whole they all behaved as adults. Having led groups to different places in the world the last 40 years of my life, I have to say that this was often not the norm.

The norm seems to be that there is always someone along who needs babysitting or their ego soothed. I feared losing someone along the way in the massive crowds wherever we went. Not this group. This group was given choice in all we did. People chose to look out for one another. Everyone chose to do what suited their needs. There were some time certain events, like catching trains, planes and buses. We all negotiated that responsibly and well. At dinner our last evening in Rome I told “the crew”, I appreciated that each person functioned like an adult.

It is like that in life, is it not? When you work and live with people, it is possible to accomplish more when you negotiate with one another and give one another space for each other’s needs. There may have been whining or pouting, but I did not see it.

I wish that more groups of people cooperated and communicated with one another like this one did. It is not easy to do. It can be done. It requires volitional choice. It is how we grow. We choose to change a behavior and do so. I, like you, can continue to grow, mature and become adult. It is not easy given different histories, attitudes and manner of thought.

A congregation is a larger group than travelers on a trip. However, in the congregation, we are faced with the same choices. We have the option of negotiating or not. We have the option of choosing together our next steps. It is a matter of choosing steps and paths to take. I feel it instructive that people function in a healthier manner when you and I do. I find self-differentiation to be healthy as I do choice. Along the way on that trip some chose to do other things separate from my choices. It was great.

A part of our group of intrepid souls decided to find the Appian Way, the old Roman road first built in the fourth century B.C. We knew we were near. We walked along a little road and came to a dead end. We as a group were faced with a choice of continuing into a park we didn’t see a way out of, or turning around and going back as we had come. We went back. We found our bus line and a tiny restaurant/coffee bar. Following a bit of rest, a coffee and a sandwich, the group proceeded to the bus stop. Across the street from the bus stop, there was the Appian Way. We were there and hadn’t realized it until we looked up and saw the sign. I quite liked that. As Jesus is to have said to St. Peter at that spot, “Quo Vadis?” “Where are you going?” I hope in my heart of hearts that it is toward greater maturity, adulthood and richer relationships. I believe in choice as I’m sure you do as well. My experience to date here, at First Church, is that, I believe you would have done well on that trip too. ~Ciao, Jack

December 23, 2025

“Christmas Blues”

This morning it was not quite light when I had my coffee. As I sat sipping the brew, my thoughts took a turn. I began thinking about the many folks both young and old I have talked with in the past two or three weeks. Quite a few are not ready for Christmas, and some plain and simple are not sure how they will face it.

Some are lonely and alone, some are shut away out of sight, and a few are without work and visible hope. Some have lost loved ones, and others face broken relationships, or changing familial realities. A couple have received less than enviable diagnoses from their doctors. Others are simply depressed and blue because of things that have happened in their lives. Recalling these circumstances, I want to recognize today not only you who are looking forward to Christmas, but also you who are not.

I came across a beautiful prayer called, “The Prayer for the Downhearted”, by Ruth Richards. I share it with you today in the hope that it will touch you as it touched me. If you are in need of this prayer, I hope it will help you. If you know someone who needs this prayer, please feel good about sharing it with him or her right now. The prayer reads;

“What do we do, God, when life does not go according to our plans---when troubles come, or dreams are shattered and our expectations are denied? Some of us are here feeling that this Christmas is the wrong festival at the wrong time. What is there to celebrate?

We are like Joseph perhaps---disappointed and embarrassed. That in which we put our faith has betrayed us, like Mary when she was found to be expecting the unexpected. But you choose to bless us by putting the unexpected in our way.

Can we see your way--- hold fast to your blessing? Can we hear your voice calling out to us in love?

This child, whose birth we celebrate in the middle of winter, at the darkest time of year, was the One who grew up to say:

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

We hear the words of Jesus, O God, and find rest for our souls.”

God bless you one and all. ~Pastor Jack

December 18, 2025

“Christmas Card”

I have written a number of Christmas cards through the years. One and all have said, “Merry Christmas to you.”

Whether you are a believer, or an atheist does not matter to me. What matters for me is that the story of Christmas from my perspective, is about an inversion in the world. The world is actually at odds with this story you know. An unwed teenaged mother is told that her child will be set for the rise and fall of many. She is told that the poor will be filled with good things and the rich sent empty away. When her son is born, the stars aligned and strangers (foreigners), and illiterate shepherds, show up to see for themselves a baby born in a barn (more likely a cave), in the midst of creatures not human. If you have not been raised on a working farm, you might not understand.

Shortly into the story, a mean-spirited politician enters the story. As all politicians do, this one wants to keep his job and keep as many of the natives as possible from becoming restless. Hearing something about this child from the foreigners causes him to be gripped by obsessive fear. The politician is afraid that a little boy will grow up and have him voted out of office. Politicians who are threatened the world over often react in a vicious manner. So, the family in our story, hearing about the threat, goes on the lamb and become refugees. They became afraid of their own leader. As the story goes, they had a right to be afraid. But, even politicians do die, and when this politician died, they returned home and lived their lives.

Stop the press, this Christmas greeting sounds political. It is calling for an inversion, a redirection; about the way things are done. The poor become rich. The rich are sent empty away.

It reminds me of the crazy thing the grown boy said, “the last will be first and the first last.” He said, “the meek will inherit the earth.” Strange, no?

Well, enough said, I know I am preaching to the choir. Just one more thing he said at the end, “forgive them all, they have no idea what they are doing.” I add in my own words, “even though they do not deserve it.” I do love this story even though I am one of those who often needs the forgiveness. This year I wish you and me a Conscious Merry Christmas. I want to welcome a societal inversion empowering those most needing it. I want to believe that this year, all those marginalized by poverty, disease, mental illness, fear and loathing, or any heartbreaking loss, will be lifted up. It is to the powerless of the earth that this story should appeal as well as those of good heart and conscience. The story tells us what the outcome will be. I don’t see it today, but I continue to believe it is coming. Merry Conscious Christmas! ~Jack

December 11, 2025

“Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”

This is probably my favorite Christmas song. Judy Garland first sang it in 1943 during WWII in the film, “Meet Me in St. Louis.” In 1950 or thereabout, Frank Sinatra sang it and turned the song into the standard Christmas song it has become. He had the last verse of the song changed to give it a positive spin. The last verse of the song originally recognized that life is difficult on the best of days. The writers Hugh Martin and Ralph Blane wrote the words that continue to haunt me: “Someday soon we all will be together If the Fates allow. Until then we’ll have to muddle through somehow. So have yourself a merry little Christmas now.”

Sitting at a holiday concert a few years ago with my wife, I heard the Ripon College Chamber Singers sing this song for the first time that year. The lyrics were the Frank Sinatra lyrics that say something like, “Hang a shining star upon the highest bow.” It was beautiful. However, in my mind’s eye I heard the original words, “Until then we’ll have to muddle through somehow.”For whatever reason, I began to weep. My wife patted my arm. I was so emotional I decided to leave the concert and walk a mile home in the rain. When I thought about it, I realized that my feelings were complex as they often are this time of year. I’m sad that this Christmas I will not be with many people I love dearly. I will not be with our children, my siblings, extended family, and friends. I would have to add the hundreds of people I’ve been fortunate enough to spend time among. I simply get misty-eyed recognizing my loss and desire to be with people I care about. The further rub is that so many are simply gone. My grandparents were born in the 19th century. They were important in forming me as a child. My parents are dead as well. That is a whole story all by itself. At the end of the day let’s just say, I loved them and miss them. Many of my teachers have died. These folks were my companions and cheerleaders. I learned much from them. I’ll add to this litany of loss, many dear friends and comrades in arms, with whom I have endured the sharpest battles of life, they are dead too. Well, someday soon we’ll all be together, if the fates allow. Until then I’ll have to muddle through somehow. Truth be spoken, that is exactly how I feel when I am reminded of them. I muddle through. I am happy to say, “I am a muddler.” I would be nothing without these memories and acknowledging these losses.

This time of year, I encounter the pain and struggles of others, maybe yours among them. Crazy things happen in our lives and sometimes, simply put, it spins out of control. I have talked with people who cannot make sense out of their lives, relationships and the hyped-up joy of others. This is the time of year many are melancholy, depressed and simply blue. The last line of the song goes like this, “So have yourself a merry little Christmas now.” I will, with memories intact, celebrate the Nativity. I will remember those not with me physically, as being present. I will tell the messy story of Christmas in all of its glory. The story you know is about an inversion. The poor are celebrated, and the rich are on the periphery of the story. In some manner the story with all its glitches is like your story and mine. It is a story saying that God is for us, and with us. Remember, Jesus was born in a cave, to his unwed mother and credulous father, among animals, shepherds, wise people, and enemies from the beginning. I love it. What a great story. It still is one of the best I have ever heard. The people I will be near, you for instance, love the story too. And you, like me, will have a merry little Christmas now. It is the present moment that is crucial, is it not? It is the awareness that we are not alone that matters. We say, Emmanuel or God is with us, does not leave us alone in the darkness. All it takes is a little light to dispel darkness. A lit candle can change your mood, and mine.Consider this, you can express your struggle during this wonderful season with the ambivalence of feeling melancholy and joy side by side. That is how I muddle through. Sing the carols, tell the story, love your neighbor and be fully in touch with who you are. I wish you the merriest of all Christmases now. ~Jack

December 4, 2025

“Peace”

The great writer and theologian Frederick Buechner, said, “For Jesus, peace seems not to have meant the absence of struggle, but the presence of love.”

I recognize and share Buechner’s sentiment. Life on this planet is a daily grind filled with struggle. I try to live my life drama free. I try to live it in such a fashion that I do not have to struggle to tie my shoelaces or wear a proper pair of socks. In crisis though, I have had difficulty tying my shoelaces and have found myself looking at the mismatched socks I had chosen for a given day and realized, I had another pair just like them in my drawer.

Wandering through Advent, looking for light, I am aware that most of us are struggling with something. A lot of us move from one drama to the next and never pass go. We struggle with internecine wars in our families of origin, our extended families and organizations to which we belong. We experience emotional cutoffs with friends, family and colleagues more so at this time of year than any other. Often, we wake up fearing that we do not measure up to our own expectations or others. Young or old, it makes no difference. Politicians, corporations, family and friends subliminally attempt to coerce us to buy their products, agree to their ideology and thought processes. When conscious, I struggle to maintain my core being.

Many of us have experienced changes we do not like and are unprepared to live with. Someone we know receives a diagnosis that is not good. Someone in our sphere of influence dies or goes away and we are left grieving and suffering. We simply, at our wits end, find it difficult to breathe. I become exhausted with happy, clappy people who exude constant cheer, who live with the illusion that they have never failed, screwed something up, or ever struggled with the pain the rest of us know as our realities. Some days, life is intolerable.

I try so hard to hold the struggles of life at bay. If, as Frederick Buechner says, “For Jesus, peace seems to have not meant the absence of struggle, but the presence of love “, then I must once again change my frame of reference. I must practice reminding myself that, the very presence of love makes getting up each day and encountering the slings and arrows of day-to-day existence, tolerable. I recommit myself to the good news that the presence of love makes life worth living. I try to surround myself with people who, though encountering struggle, pain and life distress, yet live day to day with the presence of love. Your life, my life, any life is worthwhile when we find in ourselves the courage and ability to transcend struggles because of the presence of love.

Practicing the presence of love is difficult. It requires me to think anew about how easy it is to dismiss people, places and things I cannot control and with whom I struggle. I practice not attempting to determine the outcomes of daily life. I need to practice keeping my hands open in whatever struggle I find myself and claim peace because I know the presence of love. I hope, come what may, you will remember that you can choose the presence of love as a gift that is yours in spite of struggle. I join you in the practice this advent. See you Sunday. ~Jack

November 26, 2025

"Revisiting Mary Magdalene"

I wrote about Mary Magdalene in December of 2012, and I lost the draft of that writing. I rewrote it after I returned home after our first Italian sojourn because it was important to me to remember a moving experience.

One December morning that year, I dragged my wife Sarah across Florence to the Casa Buonarroti (the familial home of Michelangelo), to see the two paintings of Mary Magdalene as represented by him. A few days before, I was at the museo del Duomo and there viewed Donatelli’s sculpture of Mary Magdalene. That sculpture raised the hair on the back of my neck. She looked like a wretch in grave pain. So, you see, I had to see her as Michelangelo did in side-by-side paintings. One of the two was finished by one of the people in his bottega, from one of his drawings. In these paintings side by side, Mary is portrayed attempting to hold the post Resurrection Jesus. He, on the other hand is reaching out with his hand almost brushing her breast holding her away. She desperately desires to be touched and held. He has an enigmatic smile on his face. These paintings are alive, vibrant and portray Jesus and Mary as I see them both. Mary wants fulfillment (to touch and hold that which had been lost, stolen, taken away), and Jesus the resurrected one is full of joy in her presence.

It will be Christmas in a few weeks. A gift I desire for you and me would be the comfort of knowing we are loved, desired, and have meaning to someone in our immediate sphere of influence and can recognize that. Mary’s love had been put to death and now in this moment, she has the opportunity to be whole again in the presence of her primary change agent. Sometimes in life, love is within our grasp. It should be cherished. Sometimes love is taken from us, and all we can do is hold on to our memories. It is a universal reality unless you eat your young. During this Advent, rather than being manipulated by a new Lexus in your driveway, or the endless manipulation of marketers demands on the economy to buy something, do yourself a favor and stop. “Remember, the gift all of us want is to be loved.” We want to know that we have meaning to lovers, family and friends. Simply reaching out with a look, a nod of the head, an embrace, or a word that reminds the other that they count, and that the world would be less without them, may be all one needs.

Having said that, I love whatever relationship Jesus and Mary had. I do not believe for a moment that she was a prostitute or even demon possessed. I think she was a woman who saw something in Jesus that she wanted and needed to breathe. I believe that he saw in Mary not a conquest but a woman with capacities she did not know she had.

After being at the Casa Buonarroti, I went for a walk and a beverage with one of Sarah’s students, who is Chinese (Tongi Chien, aka. Phil). He asked me what I was going to take with me when I left Florence. I responded that I would take this vision of Mary and Jesus with me. I told Tongi, “I take it with me because, at the heart of the universe, I believe that there is a core that resonates and is empowered by love, however love is manifested.” As this student and I walked over the top of a hill, Tuscany was in front of us with its beautiful hills and snowcapped mountains in the background. I told Phil that I loved this view of Tuscany, and then described what I have written here incompletely, about a primary relationship at the heart of the biblical story that informs me.

Accept this today as my early Christmas card and gift to you. Know that whether I am with you or not be, I hold you as beloved, as lover, friend and treasure. Should you get a new toy, I hope you do not tell me about it. In truth, the toys and jewelry we have and receive are not love. Love is knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are not alone in the world and that you are important to the object of your love. I am sending love to you. Whatever you do this Advent and Christmas, would you remind someone that you love them. Say it if you can. It is good for you and me. I love you. ~Jack

November 13, 2025

"The Burning Bush"

I saw this bush by the side of the road and went closer to see if it was on fire. It was intriguing. My dog, Dave didn’t want to stop and look. I love phenomena.

As I approached the bush, my overactive mind thought I had heard a voice speaking from the bush saying, “Jack, you numpty, get over yourself.” I heard myself saying, “What?” The voice added, “You’re no Moses, you egotistical twit.” Then it said, “But you can feed the hungry, help clothe the poor, and tell those in power to set my people free.” I said, “How?” The voice in that stunning bush said, “By opening your hands, your heart, and your mouth and saying to the powers that be, ’Free these you impoverish and share what you have with them’.” My immediate response was, “Are you nuts?” The voice in my head replied, “Some say so.” I said, “Can’t you pick on someone else?” The voice said, “You’re old, have a nice quiet voice, you’re not rich or powerful but you can say with all the others I’m speaking to, heal, feed and love my family who are the little ones of the earth!”

At that moment, Dave yanked his chain and I thought, “Mine’s being yanked again, I like it.” ~Jack

photo by Jack Kraaz

November 6th, 2025

"Something Sacred"

Peter Hoeg has written a book that is at once amazing as well as entertaining. The title is, “The Elephant Keepers’ Children”. You might find it interesting if you are like me, always in need of a good book to play with. Peter Fino, a Lutheran Pastor’s fourteen-year-old son, narrates the story. At the end of this adventure the boy who has great maturity and wisdom says on the very last page, something that made me sit up straight in the coffee shop and begin to weep. This boy although loved, is experiencing existential loneliness and facing it head on. He decides to let his loneliness go, and in that moment he is filled with joy and happiness. He begins to dance. Just then a boy who is different than Peter and one who Peter struggles with throughout the book appears, Karl Marauder Lander. Karl asks if this is a private dance, or can anyone join in?

Hoeg writes, “Grace is one of those words that should only ever be handled while wearing velvet gloves, and only when nothing less will do. And yet I must say that I believe it the only word capable of adequately describing the fact that life is organized in such a way that even the likes of Karl Marauder may nurture the hope that the natural downward spiral of their lives will one day be halted, and that at the end of the new pathway that appears before them, opportunity lies, delicate, hazardous, and refined”.

The boy Peter says to Karl “Just follow me” and they dance in the rain.

It is my observation that after a life of flawed living, traveling ill-advised paths, making questionable choices and decisions, that life itself comes down to this sacred word that should only be handled while wearing velvet gloves and only when nothing else will do. You have probably not seen me dance. I hope for your sake and mine if you have, that it was in a moment in which I have found myself caught up in the thrall of grace.

I am no longer concerned with your sin or mine to use archaic verbiage used to correct the behavior of another. I am concerned that life itself be seen as glimpses of grace in which the secrets of the universe itself are revealed in order that you and I can be whole. Nothing more and nothing less is acceptable. Shall we dance, my friend? ~Jack

October 30, 2025

"Quo- Vadis"

Re-reading Nelson DeMille’s revised novel, “The Quest”, I happened on a couple of pages that were quite stirring and theological. I missed these things my first time through the book. For instance, he talks about faith and wonders how human beings can hold faith in a world of utter contradictions. His summation, in my words is, it is impossible unless you can see love. If one can love, one can believe in God. Simple but true. I think.

In another place he talks about is the Quo-Vadis chapel outside Rome, (Chiesa Del Domine Quo-Vadis). The chapel is on the Appian Way as you leave Rome. According to the Apocryphal Gospel of Peter, Jesus appeared to Peter at this place. This happened as Peter was fleeing persecution in Rome. Peter being surprised by Jesus’ appearance said, “Lord where are you going, (Quo-Vadis)?” Jesus replied to Peter, I am going to Rome to be crucified again. Peter of course did not want Jesus crucified a second time. So, Peter turned, followed and went to his own crucifixion. There is a marble stone in the church that has two-foot prints in it. They are said to be, miraculously, Jesus’s footprints. I am just saying, “It’s a good story.”

About that point in reading “The Quest”, I stopped and took a breath. In and out. It is an apocryphal story after all. I was finding it difficult to suspend doubt about the story I was reading. As you probably know, an entire theology is built around the crucifixion of Peter in Rome. I do not doubt that this backwater fisherman from the Sea of Galilee was crucified in Rome attempting to make up for past bad behavior in relation to his betrayals. I have no doubt at all about that. If you have ever betrayed anyone or anything, if you are sentient, you spend the rest of your life trying to make things right. Or, conversely, you deny what you did and compartmentalize the experience. Then, you bury it in a tight corner of your mind. Peter, I believe, never got over what he had done. He remembered. That’s the point of the story. So, off Peter goes, back to Rome. He finished his quest of following and serving.

I started thinking about this Latin phrase “Quo Vadis”, quite apart from Peter. I thought about it in relation to myself. I turned it around and asked the question of myself, “Where are you going?” I thought, crazy man that I am, “I am on a hero’s journey to find the truth of myself.” The book “The Quest”, is about the search for the Holy Grail. DeMille says the quest for the grail is not a quest for a holy relic, as much as the inward quest for the truth of ourselves. So, where am I going?

Finding myself in my ninth decade, I answer the question differently than I would have forty years ago when I thought I needed love. I looked for love everywhere. No matter how much I had, I thought I needed more. I was greedy. When I experienced love, it seemed transitory. It did not seem to reside in me. Somehow love was transitory. It felt like Teflon, it did not stick. I thought I needed to grasp love for fear of losing it or not being able to keep it. I’ve lost love on numerous occasions because I yielded to false illusions; believed in various delusions, and found myself as so many do, clueless.

I woke up one day, with an empty hole in my heart. My heart was broken, and I did not know how to mend it. It had been like that as long as I could remember. I found myself one day sitting with my head in my hands. For some reason I am not conscious of today, I opened my hands and said, “show me the way.” Nothing appeared or happened immediately. But I found a stirring in myself. I wanted to let go of what I had. It was not much at the time. I wanted to make a difference to someone else. I began by being kind to someone I thought I was better than. I found myself caring for people different than I was. It no longer seemed important to only love and care for people who could give me something in return. One day looking in a mirror, I saw someone looking back at me. I no longer loathed that person. I smiled at him and saw him smiling back at me. I said, “I love you.”

Since that time, I no longer look for love outside of myself. I also am no longer stingy with love, nor do I hoard it. About thirty-five years ago my mother was visiting me. Because I think differently than most of my family members politically and theologically, I suggested that she had taken the wrong baby from the hospital. I thought I was someone else’s child. She said, “I don’t think so.” Then she said, “You are just different.” Being a little paranoid, I said, “different how?” To which she responded that I was always searching for what I did not have. She said, “Make it work for you.” She hugged me and said, “Jack, there is enough love to go around.”

I have found that to be true.

Today, I am going to luxuriate in all the love given me. Whether that love is deserved or undeserved and tell the whole world that it is available to everyone. If you can see it, it is yours. If you can’t see it, can you at least imagine its possibility? I am convinced that most of the things I have messed up in my life were messed up because I could not see what is around me.

We are all Grail searchers. If you too are on a quest, stop and ask yourself as I have myself, “Where am I going?” The answer to that one question can make all the difference in the world. Your quest and mine are different. However, they are both valid in my mind. Let yourself be drawn into finding the answer to whatever it is that has eluded you or is eluding you. It may take a while to figure out. I think that inside of yourself, you will find all you have ever searched for. Ready? Let’s go. ~Ciao, Jack

October 23, 2025

"Older Than Dirt"

I’ll be 81 in a few weeks and want to mark the occasion without making a big deal about it. When I turned 75, not only did I celebrate the day, but I celebrated in a variety of different places, with a variety of friends and family. To be fully honest and a bit transparent, I have to say that I enjoyed the fun of being with a rather diverse group of human beings.

Marking three-quarters of a century then was only an achievement in terms of survival. It is not related to accomplishment, height or weight. It seems to me the only achievement is simply that I am still here. One of my four daughters put it well; she said, “I’m glad you’re still here around for a while.” My response was, “Me, too!”

Two years ago, I was hanging out in New York City for a few days and had many opportunities to watch people, especially people of similar age. Being generous, I think of that as being sixty-five to eighty-five. Some are ambulatory, and some with the help of an assortment of devices. Some with a twinkle in their eyes and others as if the light is no longer there. I saw people coming out of buildings with a caretaker either guiding or leading them and I saw others simply with nobody at home wandering aimlessly.

I find people in this society wanting to duck the fact that they are aging, rapidly changing, and in some cases knowing they are dying. In my experience denial is overworked. I was with someone a few years ago who had lost strength in his legs and arms. He was barely ambulatory and yelled out “I wish I was dead!” I believe he may have meant that, although he may have simply been blowing off steam by expressing frustration at the fact that his body has betrayed him.

In my case, I’m aware that I’m becoming a bit fearful of the changes aging brings. I’m aware that no matter who you are, good health is temporary; longevity is not promised, and good looks are fleeting. Never in all my life have I been more aware that it takes courage to age. On the other hand, it is the complexity of issues that go with it. The complexity can be sometimes obvious like dementia or Alzheimer’s, or some form of disease related to the heart or kidneys. Or it can just be the paralyzing fear that something is lurking, like the sword of Damocles simply waiting to strike you down and render you fully dependent on others for the most basic of needs; like using the bathroom or bodily self-care.

I took up the game of golf about 30 years ago and improved at the game for years. I loved being outside in a variety of weather and whacking a little ball, trying to find a hole in the ground over a thousand feet away, and then taking a little stick with a weight on the tip and gently tapping the little ball into a hole. I always looked forward to it until recently when I found myself not hitting the ball quite as far. I will play the game again in the coming Spring, out of sheer dogged stubbornness. However, I will do so in the knowledge that any edge I had is gone. I will have to learn to be satisfied with simply being alive and having the capacity to attempt playing at least one more time.

Nine years back, at the ripe old age of seventy-two, my wife Sarah and I were travelling in Germany on our way to Leipzig. We were going to take a train from the Leipzig airport to the city center. However, some of our luggage had been lost in transit. While trying to take care of that, the airport basically shuttered for the day. Somehow, we found where the train to the city was. Unfortunately it was about to leave the station. We were five tracks over from the train and needed to climb two flights of stairs, cross a bridge and go down the other side. I encouraged Sarah to run. I grabbed what luggage had arrived and ran up two flights of stairs behind her, crossed the bridge, ran breathlessly down the stairs arriving at said train just before the doors closed. It is a wonderful memory. Just nine years later, I doubt I could do it again.

I guess getting older beats the alternative. For me at this point in time it is better. As I observe people in various stages of life, I’m always amazed at those people who have achieved a modicum of contentment with where and who they are. I take comfort knowing they are there. I’m not always one of them. I continue to seek challenges and want to keep changing things in my sphere of influence. I find a great challenge for me as I age is maintaining relationships with people I experience in a coffee shop, a store, a church, a gym or on a street corner. So long as I have that, while not fully content, I am engaged. Remaining engaged and finding purpose gives me joy. As I travel to both new places and places I’ve been, I experience cultural differences as something beautiful that I’m privileged to enjoy. When you are older than dirt you take it and enjoy it as a gift with thankfulness. At least I do.

A couple years ago I saw a film about Mr. Rogers called “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood”. I enjoyed the ensemble cast immensely and realized Mr. Rogers and the person (Lloyd Vogel) the story was about were simply trying, to the best of their ability, to reconcile past wounds and find grace to live. Mr. Rogers asked Lloyd to remember silently for sixty seconds who he was. He did, and as I watched that scene in the film, my mind began spinning in remembrance of those who have helped me along the way to being me. I believe reflection and taking the time to remember can be helpful and healing for those of us who others have said are”older than dirt”. I believe that the whole point of getting to this age is not to try to keep the same body you had thirty years ago, resist change, or continue to hold grudges, and dig one’s self into a hole, but rather to reconcile the past while you can and embrace our neighbors who may or may not share our worldview. Is this easy? Nope, but it beats the alternative.

It may be silly to say but I do find happiness, joy and contentment as I go into each day looking at others and realizing that things have happened in their lives as have happened in mine, and that making peace with the past is the only possible way to have a future.

So laugh at me in my dotage if you wish, but please never feel sorry for me. I’m happy being me in this moment. I hope to continue walking the path I’m on. Other than being me and loving and caring about you, who would I be? ~Jack

October 16, 2025

"Take Aim"

“If you aim low enough, you will always hit your target.” Conversely, it could be said, “If you aim high enough, you may hit your target.”

Over the course of my life, I have watched individuals, groups and organizations do both. I’ve wondered what determines whether an individual, group or organization chooses to aim low, or aim high? I believe the answer has to do with the vision of the person, group or organization. Additionally, it has to do with what level of risk the person, group or organization is willing to take to achieve that vision. Someplace in the equation, you throw in either fear or confidence and find that the mood and affect of the individual, group or organization is transformed one way or the other.

Studying statistics forty years ago, I was interested in what variable skewed things away from the mean. I realized some people were successful and some not. I saw groups wax or wane. I saw organizations fail or grow. What made the difference?

Two variables stood out in my mind’s eye= 1) Change 2) Leadership

When any individual, group or organization is unwilling to change, it often will shrink and decay. It loses sight of what is happening today, it becomes calcified in the spirit of we’ve never done it that way before or a philosophy of that is the only way to do it. Without change, whatever the organism, it will hang on, shrink, and ultimately die. When an individual, group or organization chooses to change though, it can prosper, grow and renew. However, it must grow into the change and take the time to do so. Sometimes it must change again along the way. The determining factor about whether to change is often subtle. Nothing good happens clinging to the past. Healthy individuals, groups or organizations respecting the past while choosing to try something different are exciting and renewing.

Everything comes down to choice, and how the individual, group or organization chooses. It depends on whose voice is listened to and respected the most. When it is the voice of the status quo there is stasis, when it is the voice of change, there is a spirit of possibility.

I have watched individuals, groups and organizations decay and die. I have also watched individuals, groups and organizations choose to change and come to thrive.

Enter leadership. A leader is often the person or persons whose voice is heard clearly and who models how the future can look. A leader is a person who has the capacity to listen deeply. A leader can work independently or in a group. A leader will define her/himself, speak of the vision and move toward whatever the vision may be. A leader will be a non-anxious presence. When second-guessed the leader continues to be consistent with her/his core essence. A leader when facing difficulty or disagreeable entities will stop and assess, and continue toward the stated goals of the individual, group or organization. Leading is not an easy task and is often learned while in the process. Leaders are often out of their comfort zone and grow to new levels of leading by continually being him/herself. What I am describing is a model of family systems psychology that creates reorganization around the growth and stability of the leader. It works for individuals, groups and organizations.

Returning to the question of this musing, is it enough to aim low and hit your target? It will depend on the desire of the individual, group or organizations comfort with change. It will depend on the leader’s ability to stay in touch with his/her adversaries. Of course, aiming higher is creating possibilities not before considered.

An example is a congregation I worked with when training as a therapist. The congregation had lost its prior three pastors all of whom left the parish under duress. The church was stuck in an older ethnic identity. It lacked any change for years and aged. The children of the congregation no longer spoke their parent’s European language. The parents could not let go of their primary language. They would rather die than learn something new. I was the first non-ethnic pastor the church had ever called. I knew if my colleagues hadn’t done anything to change the spirit of the congregation, I probably did not stand a chance. My mentor told me to risk trying systems behavior. I did. To my amazement, after taking a risk with some money and succeeding, the congregation decided to take additional risks. A few people left the congregation who could not handle any risk at all. The people who stayed began wanting to be leaders themselves. The congregation grew, built new Christian Education and multi-purpose space, enhanced and enriched ministries, attracted new members, enlarged their mission and continue to prosper thirty-eight years later.

In my personal life, after having a major financial setback, I practiced the very same system of leadership for myself. I defined myself, became a non-anxious presence, and facing setbacks, stayed with my plan. I believed that in three years everything I lost would be given back and more. There were snags along the way. But, at the end of three years, I was where I wanted to be and more. I was thriving. What it comes down to is determining a plan as an individual, group or organization. The plan could be little, aiming low, or it could call for a risk in which case you would be aiming for your dreams. Without a dream, without a vision, without taking a chance, you and I would hit the mark every time. I believe in change. I believe the Holy One put within me and you the capacity to do more, be more, and change not our appearances, but our very minds. Who among us knows how much we could do if we gave ourselves permission? ~Jack

October 9, 2025

"Change"

It is October 6th, 2025. I am sitting in a coffee shop in Northampton, thinking about my Interim call to your church in Williamsburg and thinking deeply about change. Change at so many levels I cannot keep up mentally.

Let me begin with America’s political climate that threatens the entire world. Then add in China and Russia to the equation and you feel melancholy or crazy, no? Idiots so bent on their own agendas that they would imperil and throw three billion people under the bus. Into this climate of stasis, no change contracts, and threats from the left and right, no one is willing to change unless forced to do so. It appears that bullying and bad behavior is how the politicians choose to solve their problems. How insufferable is that? And, what about the abysmal war in Ukraine not to mention Gaza? I think it’s a historical no change contract. A couple of years back, I was out golfing with some friends, I brought up politics and was told, “let’s talk about religion, it is safer.’ You see, we all have our opinions about the way the country should work, and it is safer to talk about religion. Go figure. Sometimes it feels as if backing each other into the corner is the answer, doesn’t it? There was a time when I respected the opinion of someone different than me and it was okay. Now you better not hold an opinion with Republicans or Democrats that might be construed as political. The word that comes to mind is hubris. Differences of opinion are healthy. As a nation, we accomplished greatness on the world stage due to moments in our history brought about by crises we could not solve. It has been out of crisis that a new way of being appeared that forced us together. Like the Japanese bombing Pearl Harbor. That event galvanized the nation, took America out of its political morass and put consciousness on a common footing that those on the left and right supported. When America came out of the war, the nation was as strong as it had ever been and then had a new common enemy, communism. Communism gave the country a low-grade war to focus on for the next forty some years. When the Berlin Wall came down it was difficult to find new enemies and it seems in the past thirty some years we have come to a place where we vilify one another and see in the eyes of our neighbor, “the enemy.” Birth control, gay rights, abortion, what you can and can’t read and other topics force us to polarize and vilify depending what side you may be on. I see this as hubris. It is as if we all think the other is the enemy.

There is good news. The good news is that change happens whether we want it to or not. The question is whether it will be entropic or usher in a new age of enlightenment. An age and time in which health and graciousness replace threat and innuendo as the by words of a people.

I know of a church that was airing its dirty wash. The senior pastor and the associate disagreed on the focus of the future of the congregation. As good Christians (“not”), they forced the congregation to choose sides. The church became polarized and both pastors were forced to quit leaving a leadership vacuum. I believe both pastors needed to quit. However, into a vacuum like that, it is possible with clear leadership that something new and exciting could happen. I am not saying it will, but faced with the alternative, though the congregation may be very anxious today, it has an opportunity to experience a new day. What might prevent that from happening is an inability to arrive at a new way of seeing and experiencing life together. Having led numerous congregations through critical times and watching them emerge through the black hole of change into a new frame of reference, I become quite excited with the possibilities people who feel hopeless can experience. I love this stuff. And change is the only way to get there.

I want to address change as it is happening in the aging process. Due to not taking care to screen UV rays, I have had skin cancer. Due to numerous basketball injuries and damaged fingers, my hands do not always work well, and due to internalized stress and whacks to the head over the years I have an essential tremor. To date I am happy to say it is not more. I am attempting to say, it is change, it is aging, and I am trying to find a measure of acceptance for this moment in time. I realize that it is part of a process that is unyielding, and which continues. It is a process with an end in sight. It is change that I cannot stop. I am choosing to do what I can to stay healthy, my mind sharp, and my wit clear. I am choosing to simply be in the present moment and fill my life with love and grace. I think daily about undeserved favor and the love I experience at the hand of others as well as giving from my own hands to others. I am attempting to think daily of change as opportunity and adventure. You see, “everything changes, ends, and dies.” There is no answer to what lies beyond the present moment. There is belief for people of faith. There is nothing for people who have no faith. For one and all there is one constant, “the unknown.” It is here that we find character. We face tomorrow either with dread or with the sense of adventure. Unlike political problems, we are all united in common space. We only differ in how we choose to see the unknown. What is common is we all die. The choice is how we see the moment.

Some forty or fifty years back, John Lennon wrote a song and a phrase that goes through my mind often is, “and in the end, the love we take, is equal to the love we make.” I believe that is so. I intend to finish, thinking of that and choosing to see my end when it comes, as an adventure.

As a Church, you have the opportunity to begin practicing being honest with others and yourselves. There is known frailty in our individual and corporate being. Because we practice following Jesus’ way, we constantly have the choice to let go of our own demands and egos and see life through the prism of the one who let go of everything we think we need to live. Following that one, we can choose to allow the changes we need to happen. Ciao! ~Jack

October 2, 2025

"Adjustment Disorder"

Minding my own business at a coffee shop the other day, I opened my email account and found the following quote by Jiddu Krishnamurti at the bottom of a friends note; He said, “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society”. It got me thinking about my years working as a counselor with people who were given a diagnosis of “Adjustment Disorder”. An adjustment disorder was a label given to a client who did not fit into other mental health categories like bipolar, depression, schizophrenia or narcissism. An adjustment disorder does not quite fit the parameters of other diagnoses. It often is given to people who experience anxiety, depression or other symptoms that may be related to something happening in that person’s life. The disturbance is situational. The client needs to adjust in order to find relief and continue living with a modicum of health.

I have been in therapeutic relationships over the course of my life. Sometimes, I have been the client. Each time I engaged a counselor, the ensuing experience was helpful, allowing me to try a different paradigm. The different paradigm allowed me to make choices concerning paths I might take to a healthier me. Of-course along the path to change, I encountered fear, threw up barriers, invented resistances and worked against my own recovery. The work of the counselor was helping me see what I was doing. He or she would challenge me, pointing out that I could not achieve the adjustment I wanted until I tried something new. Most often the choices with which I was faced left me feeling uncomfortable. Often, choosing a path toward my well being put me at odds with those close to me. Over time I had to learn to not adjust to their discomfort with me, and at times relationships were strained or broken. Sometimes they were healed. However, I found a new balance for my life.

I find that we are constantly adjusting to something when we come up against that which we cannot control, or we fear. If I cannot control you, the government, the church, a corporation or some other institution, how am I to be? Do I need to be miserable? Over the course of my life, it seems I fare best when I am most true to myself in spite of what may be going on around me. The adjusting that happens in counseling is such that I find myself choosing the best path I can for myself.

Having said this, I find often that I have difficulty adjusting to things in society which I believe could be different or better. For instance, I am appalled by the great divide in America where the rich blame the poor for being poor. I am appalled by attitudes that separate me from my neighbor such as, whether or not I am pro-life, approve of gay and lesbians marrying one another. Some approve of the use of torture to gain information or the use of robotic drones to kill enemies of this nation in which I live. What I have determined is, I need to not adjust but recognize the tension with which I live. I have found it is alright in me to hold the ambivalence I feel, and the ambiguity I see up to the light and choose the most viable avenue for my mental health as well as the health of others. I have been told that I have a sensitive conscience about many societal issues and that I would feel better if I just accepted things the way they are concerning societal abuses. I do not wish to adjust to that. I wish to be me and in my shrinking sphere of influence be conscious of those things I differ from, and thus hold them up to the light.

A few summers back, unexpectedly we had two summer guests move into our home. One was an Eastern Box Turtle, and the other a Chinese student recently graduated from college. We had been Albert’s host parents for several years while he was in college. Both Albert and Izzy (the turtle), had been attempting to adjust to life and find their place in the world.

The turtle named Izzy has spent its life in a box. I think it has been neglected in the past and was quite docile when it arrived with us. Feeding it regularly, paying attention to it and letting it run around the yard daily expanded its horizons. It literally came out of its shell. But, Izzy, one day determined it wanted to be free. After having a little freedom, the turtle one day when no one was looking, decided to make a break for freedom. In an act of self-determination, it took off. One would think it could not get very far. In our distress, my spouse asked the postman if he had seen a turtle on the lam. He said no, but a half hour later a woman from the next street over came to our door with Izzy in a box. The postman had told her to be on the lookout for a runaway turtle. She found it headed south with determination. Now this turtle only weighs two pounds at most. Experiencing freedom, it was adjusting to its new ability to determine its own future. It was probably looking for its own kind and wanted to hook up, fulfilling its destiny. Izzy does not want to spend its life in a box. Since its attempt to break free of its confinement, Izzy spends its day clawing the walls of its terrarium trying to find a way out. However, Izzy now does not return to its shell when we speak to it. Our compromise has been to let it out for its daily trot through the vegetation in our yard. However, I wonder if freeing Izzy in its native habitat would not give it what it wants, even though Izzy would experience the dangers inherent to its native habitat.

Albert graduated from college and is a very bright young man. He decided to stay in America another year. He needed a place to stay for a few weeks until his visa arrived. He needed a job. He wanted an internship to further learn corporate business practices. Albert arrived at our home two weeks prior to Izzy. He sent out many resumes and had several responses from places that were debatable. He had the discernment to turn them down. Finally, he went to a food service company and did an internship with it and worked in the kitchen doing whatever was required and learned a corporate business model with the help and direction of the manager. Albert had determined early in life that he would not be given anything. He decided to start from the bottom up. He learned management principles that would stand him in good stead over the course of his life. He did graduate with two majors; one in Business and the other in Economics. He both observed and participated with management and employees alike during his internship. I asked Albert one day what he thought he wanted to do with his life. He said, I want to own and manage a resort. That is a lofty goal. Each day he is conscious of his need to adjust to reality. To this moment, he is attempting to do so without being stuck in a rigid paradigm. He is broad enough within himself to do and experience what he must. It seems that is the base of his self-definition.

Life as I see it is about adjusting and constantly achieving a new homeostasis. The older I am the less I think human beings can control. Finding a new balance enjoying it and rebalancing as needed over one’s life span seems to lead to the greatest opportunities for health. I am adjusting to working at a job. This causes me to daily think about how to adjust to the new reality with which I live. How do I define myself in this latest new reality? How do I adjust to receiving money each month? How will I spend these funds? I figure I will adjust to it. Not as a disorder but as opportunity. Everything I observe is seeking a new balance. Only those who refuse consciously or unconsciously to be aware of their need to adjust and find a new balance are stuck and in trouble. Reinhold Niebuhr wrote the “Serenity Prayer” and it goes like this; “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” It works for me.

Finally, what does this have to do with the quote at the beginning of this musing? I believe there are many of us in America on the left and the right who do not feel adjusted to what we see in our society and indeed the broader world and for the most part are daily not adjusted to that. At the same time we are attempting to figure out how to be healthy in the environment in which we find ourselves.

I believe this is as it should and will be until we perceive change we can trust. Good luck. ~Jack

September 25, 2025

"A New Perspective"

I own a book. Actually, I owned many books. I have given most away. I gave them away the day I realized that the wisdom in those books was time stamped for a particular setting and reality. I gave them away because I wanted my life to be fluid. I have kept a few books I believe are worthy of returning too often. One of the books I have kept is, “Deep Change”, by, Robert Quinn. It is a book about discovering the leader within.

I needed to make changes in my life because back in the day, I was out of sync. As Quinn says, “While our underlying worldview is fairly fixed, our external world is constantly changing. The two become increasingly out of sync, and the maps or paradigms that serve to guide our behavior become obsolete.” (Pg66)

For instance, although I am fairly set in my worldview, I have had to change a lot of personal things in my life. In High School I took a note taking class when I should have taken typing. That one single course would have helped me immensely in college. However, I did take really good notes. The issue was, I couldn’t type a paper, and it cost me grade wise. Then when Cd’s and Dvd’s came along, I invested in machines that played tapes. I went to the video store one day and there were no longer tapes to be had. At least I no longer had to program those Vhs machines that I found impossible. Every year something changed. I have had three or four computers (desktops) and found they did well, but a few years back I realized that I moved around a lot and thought a laptop would work well for me. I worked as an Interim Transitional Pastor in 2011-2012 and the secretaries at the church thought I would be well suited to an Apple MacBook that I am writing on now. I found I could write and work creatively wherever I was.

Since beginning work with you, I am finding that I have a wee bit of catch up to do with using new apps and other technologies. I am interested in learning. However, for someone born in the 1940’s it is a challenge. I have to say, it is at times frightening and daunting.

I have come to believe that there are two types of people on the planet. One type does not like change but welcomes it in order to grow. The other type doesn’t like change and has decided to do whatever is possible to keep things as they are. Like the proverbial ostrich, they do not want assumptions challenged, or their viewpoints scrutinized. A man I dearly love was willing to die with furniture he bought sixty years ago even if it is not antique quality nor fit to sit on. I am not being critical of him. He is locked in a place and time that no longer exists. I am hoping against hope that I will keep my antiques and let go of stuff that is worn out. I recently purchased a new leather chair that I usually sit in to write. It is really comfortable. My old one had no lumbar support, and the bottom was falling out. This new chair is nice. It both reclines and rocks.

What I am saying is this, let us keep the primary worldview we have and change the external things we must to keep living and growing in the world. I have decided to live fully every day until I die. I want to draw my last breath conscious of the wonder and beauty around me. I want my last breath to be a breath of appreciation for every opportunity life has afforded me. I want to be open mouthed at the glory of seeing our world and species evolve. To do that, I have to figure out how to use a stinking smart phone the way my grandkids do intuitively. I bought a Kindle fourteen years ago. My then ten-year-old grandson showed me how to download books. I felt silly learning from him. However, I appreciated his help, and the grace he extended me. Then, while living in Italy I found I could do it on my own. He taught me to do that.

The world is changing. While I cannot keep up with change, I will do my best to stay in the game. More than that, I will try to continually model for my grandchildren and you, how to love, and include all people no matter their race, sexual orientation, age, political or religious bias. I will continue to learn to embrace my neighbor with the love, grace and passion Jesus had. Love is, as I see it today, a sane alternative to the insanity of a world without it. I find myself learning each day, in each new encounter, that I need to love others for my own mental health. I must, to live fully, make necessary changes daily. ~Jack

September 18, 2025

"Love"

I received a letter this week from a beloved woman who lives across the country. Her letter outlined the serious diagnosis she received from her doctors about the life-threatening cancer she has. As always, I visualized her in my minds eye as being whole and robust. I could hear her voice in my mind, laughing, and caring about others. Of course, then I felt sad. I returned her note with these words: “Thank-you M-- for the update. I have faith that you can do this. Be at peace and know that the foundational love (the unconditional love of family, friends, and God) that has carried you through life will not abandon you, ever.” In the church additionally, we experience this love in the sacraments of Holy Baptism and Holy Communion. She replied: “Your caring words are of great comfort Jack. You’ve seen many in your life and practice with cancer situations. You speak wisdom.” She added this postscript: “My girlfriend painted the attached card. It says in artwork what your words say.” (Please see below.)

I have no idea what you may be facing today. It could be an utterly heinous diagnosis, a struggle you are trying to navigate, a loss you cannot bear facing or simply fear of the future with its niggling reminder at the edge of your consciousness. Whatever it is, my friend, you can face it with the foundational love you have lived your whole life. Remember that while you and I sail on stormy seas of darkness, pain, regret, failure, loss, or even the fear of an ending in sight, “LOVE PREVAILS, HOLD ON.”

I’m a believer in the primacy of the power of love to address the ills of the world and my own ills. In the midst of the array of powers aligned in opposition to love, I trust that “the GRACE,” (unconditional favor of the Holy One) will never let me go. I trust it will carry you through whatever you face as well in spite of your flaws and deficits. You see as my courageous friend testified, Love does prevail!

This Sunday as we Baptize our friend Nick Reid-Lastowski, we testify to the power of Grace to both carry and lead us through all the days of our lives. “For, Love Prevails.” ~Jack

September 11, 2025

"Orsanmichele"

Sarah and I attended a holiday chamber music concert at the Chiesa di Orsanmichele in Florence Italy. It was during Advent in 2016. While at the concert, I could not stop looking at the altar in the front of the church (The musicians were positioned and playing in front of the altar.). What riveted my attention was the famous marble altarpiece carved in 1574 by Francesco da Sangallo (1494-1576). It features Mary, her mother St Anne, and (the bambino) Jesus on Mary’s lap.

Although sculpted hundreds of years ago, it seemed quite modern to my eye. Mary’s mother Anne looks distraught and frazzled. Jesus looks like he is going to act out, although his hand seems to be offering a blessing, and Mary is oblivious, and seems to be checking text messages on her cell phone (see image below).

In that moment I started to think about one of the greatest pet peeves I have. It is when people do not pay attention to others in the room because they are busy tweeting, texting or checking an app like Facebook on their phones. I was aware, while listening to the concert that Saturday morning, that this situation wasn’t what Sangallo had in mind. However, as the beautiful music I was listening to soar up and around the stone sanctuary, two cell phones went off. In addition, the church guard yelled at someone using a flash with their camera, and doors slammed shut at least three times. But, what grabbed my attention when looking at this marvelous sculpture was the common modern phenomenon of people being with others but are alone, without talking, hearing or seeing, absorbed in a world of their device’s making. And let’s not even talk about people outside stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, creating chaos and causing near accidents, to check their phones. That is true obliviousness.

With present day technology making it possible to be physically in one place and yet mentally somewhere else, our society is starved for real and true connections that are more than one can acquire with a handheld device. I don’t know exactly what da Sangallo had in mind with this grouping of Jesus and his mother and grandmother, but I do know that each of them seems to be absorbed in their own business and Mary especially was doing something else. What could be more important than paying attention to her active and possibly mischievous toddler?

I am guilty of the same thing—inattention—like when I am with you and am not fully present. I want to stop that now. Please interrupt me and tell me how rude I am being. Whether you want me to or not, I will do the same for you. Yes, it is true, I feel curmudgeonly this morning. I am hoping it will pass. ~Jack

September 4, 2025

"Giving and Receiving Hospitality"

Hospitality begins when we perceive others and ourselves as strangers in a community of welcome. Seeing the presence of the Holy One in the other enables us to welcome Christ into the midst of the community, with all the costs and joys of discipleship. It is there that change can happen. Gentle, attentive, patient and consistent care is necessary to create a community where members are intentional about seeking and welcoming all, especially those whose abilities, experiences, and cultural traditions are different from the mainstream of the current community.

In a community of hospitality, the whole community becomes aware, sensitive, and open to divergent cultural practices. It reaches far beyond the limits of the familiar in our highly mobile world. The whole community transforms both the newcomer and the community itself.

People ask why the church in America is languishing. I believe it is languishing because it refuses to break out of its fascination with the past. It chooses to do what it has always done which in the 21st century no longer works. It could change by doing what the gospels tell us to do, and that is to follow Jesus into the realm of caring, and loving those the world believes are other than we are. Six years ago, I was in Canada staying with Muslims. I was also among poor indigenous people who gave Sarah and me love and grace. With them, we not only found common ground but a mutual love for one another and a common respect for the particularity of our different faith traditions. Together we were able to abandon the common fear we were taught and love one another.

Our fear keeps us from growing into the new being that at the edge of our consciousness we know is our purpose for existence. When we cast off our fear and see someone, we consider to be the other, you and I can love that one as God in Christ loved you and me. For any church to have a future, it must enter the dangerous, unknown territory of change and trust anew the grace, and love of God and neighbor to be our guide.

I look forward to seeing you Sunday morning when we will have the opportunity to participate together in the ongoing revolution of practicing our faith with one another and share the blessed sacrament together for the first time. Hospitality is a key practice in order for the church to not only survive, but to thrive. It must be both given and received. It is the work of a lifetime. ~Jack

August 28, 2025

"Work"

Back in the day, about the turn of the millennium, I lived in Arizona. I was there attempting to start a new church for the South West Conference of the UCC. It was an adventure. It was frightening. It was exciting and I gave myself to the task. There were many days living in the West Valley, out Wickenburg way, that I had no idea what I was doing.

The fact was, I was panicked. I was in one of the most conservative areas of the country with a mandate to create a congregation that was open and affirming. I mean, where on earth was I to find a community of people that would welcome a small minority of folks into a setting that was unlike anything they had experienced prior to that moment?

I especially needed to find young people. I was not a kid myself. Do not get me wrong, I felt young and had an abundance of energy, but my mirror did not lie when I looked at it every morning. I saw a balding man with white hair on the fringe. I liked the guy looking back at me. But that man was old. I probably did not mention that I was old enough to live in Sun City. Actually, I leased a home there.

There were no places to rent to hold a church service. I looked around and finally found a Bingo Parlor that would give me space to hold a service if we vacated the premises by 10:30 AM. I put an ad in the local paper such as it was, inviting folks to attend the inaugural service and had a crowd of eleven hearty souls. Only three folks were under the age of sixty. What on earth was I doing? Who was I fooling?

About that time, I went out and sat down in the desert and opened my hands. I said to the Holy One, “I am out of ideas. I am in over my head. This is too big for me. Help. Please!”

After a half hour with no sunscreen, I was burned. I went to my car and left and thought nothing of it.

A few hours later at home, the phone rang and a couple of young women were calling looking for youth work. They were a couple from about forty miles away on the other side of Phoenix. We agreed to meet the next morning. I drove across the valley and met them at a greasy spoon in Mesa. These women were absolutely delightful. We all ordered the, “blue plate special.” When we talked the young women said that driving to the West Valley wouldn’t work for them. I was devastated. Both of them began laughing when they saw my face. One of them said, “I’m going to write on this napkin and give you some free advice.”

She wrote something I took to heart and made as a mantra for the next year and a half. I keep it framed in my office still. It says,

“Work like you don’t need the money; Love like you’ve never been hurt; Dance like nobody’s watching.”

Needless to say, she was telling me what I needed to hear. She was telling me that in that present moment to trust myself even though life was not shaping up as I had planned it to be. After that morning with those women, I stopped caring about the outcome of the new church start. I opened myself to some odd and strange people I began meeting, and I came to be much like I am this morning writing to you; “working like I don’t need the money, loving like a fool whoever crosses my path, and dancing like nobody is watching.”

This musing is for me. You see, I have forgotten this mantra from time to time. I have been busy doing other things and not paying attention.

The church in Arizona did take off. We had fifty-three people when I left and it ended up with a Sunday school with children. Leaving Arizona brought me to Wisconsin where I lived for eighteen years and ultimately to you here in Massachusetts. That is another story for another day. My hands are open again. ~Jack

August 22, 2025

"I Was Wrong"

Something I try to do wherever I am in recent years is, acknowledge or say, “I am wrong, or I was wrong.”

In the past, I sometimes would not take responsibility if I made a mistake or was wrong. I probably was afraid I would be shamed, blamed or punished in some way, shape or form. At some time, I don’t know when, exactly, I came to realize how ridiculous it was to try and cover up the fact that being human left me with cracks, flaws and moments of uncertainty.

At a training over ten years back, I saw a leader give in to a group of people who wanted to leave the training early without finishing the course work. The trainer acquiesced and said to them, “okay.” I protested. The trainer stopped and considered the protest and after a break spoke to the group and said he was wrong to have made a hasty decision. He said we had contracted together for time and work and was rescinding the offer to end early. That teacher grew in my estimation. I knuckled down and worked hard to make the value of that training excellent. What I learned and have tried to practice in life is to simply say when I’m wrong, I’m wrong! Most of us don’t humbly say were wrong when we are because of the fear of losing face in the eyes of another. The takeaway for me though is that whenever I practice this form of humility, the response I receive almost universally is thank-you.

Sarah and I were at a Pride-day march last Spring and I told a group of people I thought there were sixty-thousand participants. Other estimates I saw in the following Monday’s morning paper said there were many less than that. I was wrong. However, it was a great parade and I was moved by the grace and love I experienced while there. ~Jack